I will PRAISE you in this storm!

I heard an old song today. I will Praise You in this Storm by Casting Crowns. If you haven't heard the song or Casting Crowns you need to start downloading them now. Such amazing music with awesome messages! This songs has always given me the same feeling and memories.. allow me to share.

10 years ago back in May my mom passed away from ALS. It was a miserable, disgusting, dark time for me but I think if you knew me at the time you wouldn't say that. I always felt I had to be strong for somebody. I don't know who, really, but I just did it. Not that I didn't cry and mourn or spend many sleepless nights but I always thought that time would move on and I knew I would be okay. How did I know that? When people hear you have lost a parent they say many different things. One of which is "I could never make it if my mom died" or "I don't know what I would do if my mom died". The truth is.. does anyone really know how you would "make it" or move on after your mom dies? Well, no. I knew it was coming for probably 7 years but I didn't have a plan. After I went through shock and denial, I knew what I had to do.

I will praise YOU in this storm.

I won't lie, everyone says you go through anger and I don't ever remember being angry at God. I wasn't angry. I was sad but never angry. How could I be angry? I heard my mom talk my whole life about amazing Heaven. It was the ultimate goal for her. The greatest reward. By being angry, I think I felt I would be taking that from her. Not that I didn't want her back! I definitely wanted her back but I knew with all my heart and all of my being that she was rejoicing with the angels. She was getting to see my Dad in Heaven and she was holding her son who had gone to Heaven. I knew she was happy.

I guess I couldn't be angry or depressed because people always said "Corrie, you are the strongest person I know." I kid you not, I probably heard this once a day for a long time. I always thought, "I'm not even strong. I'm faithful." It's true. For many years, people would tell me that they learned to love Jesus and know him from my Mom. Or they saw Jesus for the first time in the way I handled myself in the days and months after I lost my mom. I am not singing my praises here, this is not about me being some great person because I am not. I sin like everyone else in the world. I am singing HIS praises. I am saying look at the hard times and look how HE held me up. Look what Jesus did in my life! I had to praise Him in that storm and in every storm. Life is not easy and the Bible promises us that it will not be easy but He also says we will never be alone, He will never leave us. He says He will cover us with a peace that passes all understanding and He does. He covered me with peace. Can I encourage you (without trying to preach at you) to praise Him in your storms? Praise Him in your storms. I feel like I need to say it over and over again. Little storms we face everyday and big storms that change your life. Praise Him in your storms.

Can you see me stepping off my soapbox now? ;-) I'm praying for all you out there today who are reading this. I am praying for your storms. Let me know if you have something specific I can pray for, I would love to. Comment me here or email me at mommyloftin@yahoo.com (friends or strangers who might have surfed on my blog).

Here are the lyrics to the song. Go download it though. You really need to hear it.

"Praise You In This Storm"

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth